Tips on Getting and Keeping Your Bartending Gig
I’ve been fired from a hospitality job before. It was an excellent learning experience. Here is what I learned about retaining a job in the bar bizz:
1. DON’T FUCK YOUR COWORKERS OR BOSS!
It’s extremely tempting to hook up with your coworkers. Bars are cesspools of sexual energy- expect that your fellow employees will be hot, funny, cool, and charming- that’s what they were hired for! And yes, it’s extremely tempting to fuck your hot, funny, charming coworkers. DO NOT DO IT. Think about your most recent one nighter. Would you really want to see this person on a daily basis? Of course not.
2. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!
Keep your mouth shut and your head down. I know it’s tempting to critique your boss, and it’s human nature to gossip. Avoid both. The less you say at the workplace, the less people have to hold against you. And trust me, the bar bizz is competitive as hell. You will be thrown under the bus if you aren’t careful.
3. KEEP YOUR PERSONAL LIFE TO YOURSELF!
Your personal life is nobody’s business but your own. Trust me, your boss doesn’t give a shit about your love life, and the less your coworkers know about the dramas of your personal life, the better.
4. TIP YOUR SECURITY/DOORMAN!
Tipping your doorman $20 at the end of your shift is standard decorum. Make friends with you doormen, they will insure a steady flow of patrons and will hold back the crowd so that you don’t get slammed. They will also mitigate fights and sooth angry customers. It’s good to know they have your back.
5. LEARN SPEED!
In nightclubs and high volume bars, the truth is, men are hired for one reason: to compensate for their female coworker’s slowness. I know I’m going to get a lot of shit for saying this, but it’s true. Customer service and knowledge goes a long way in the bar world, but the the thing that truly separates a great bartender from a mediocre one is SPEED. Learn to double fist your liquors and concentrate on the cocktails you are making- avoid asking customers to repeat their orders, try to listen and remember the first time.
6. DO NOT DRINK AT WORK!!!!! EVEN IF THE MANAGER CONDONES IT!!
The most important tasks a bartender has is counting change and monitoring their patrons. I am terrible at math, and after a few shots of tequila, I am a fucking retard and can barely count to ten. You should always be alert and sober while working. Remember, bartending is babysitting. Don’t get wasted while your watching the chillins’! If someone offers to buy you a drink, politely decline and explain it’s bar policy not drink on the job.
7. DON’T GIVE AWAY FREE LIQUOR!
Even if this is your manager’s policy, avoid giving away free liquor as much as possible. It’s a terrible policy, and never generates income for the bar. Think of liquor as medicine. In small doses, it possesses benefits- it’s an excellent social lubricant, it’s liquid courage, and can help people destress and unwind. However, like any medicine, it is toxic and dangerous in large quantities. Slow your roll! You will make more tips if you push food and non-alcoholic drinks to increase patron’s tabs then giving away liquor for free expecting Drunky McDrunkerson is going to leave a massive tip. The truth is, you are employed to sell liquor by the ounce, and every ounce needs to be accounted for. Why give away your product for free when people are so eager to pay exorbitant money for it?
8. FABRICATE YOUR WORK HISTORY!
You will never get your foot in the door of a bartending establishment unless you lie, know someone, or work your way up from busser or barback. I recommend lying. Most establishments don’t check references. They care about three things: 1. your appearance, 2. your personality, 3. your ability to do the job. If you elect to go to a bartending school to gain experience, do not reveal this on your resume. It looks amateurish and no one will hire you.
9. LEARN TO HOLD A BOTTLE CORRECTLY!
Most bartending schools teach their students some really lame pouring techniques. Never put your finger on the speed pourer or count your pour. This looks amateurish, and frankly, it is. Always grab your bottles by the neck with the speed pourer facing to the left. The best way to pour a consistently perfect 1 1/2 oz. shot is to grab your bottle by the neck, quickly lift it and bring it back down in one motion. Practice with water and a jigger in your bathroom sink until you get it down.
10. LEARN YOUR PRODUCT!
Product knowledge is vital. Know your product. If you don’t drink, don’t think about becoming a bartender. Bartenders need to know what their liquors taste like, how they work together, and what makes some premium and others well. Know your cocktail recipes.
That’s all for now monkeys. Post comments/questions!!
- Carly
